Thursday January 7th, 2021
So I’m back to day 3 again. I guess the good thing about slipping really early on is that it doesn’t take that long to get back to where you were! After I drank on Day 4 the other day, I figured I might as well throw in the towel. But then I kept thinking when will I ever stop again? Next January? Two Januarys from now? So I didn’t drink on Tuesday, had a pretty good sleep and then didn’t drink again last night. However I was VERY close. We happen to have a couple of bottles of red wine leftover from Christmas holidays and when I started getting dinner ready around 6:00, it was all I could do to not pop one open and just start drinking. But then I didn’t. I don’t know why exactly but something stopped me. After I get to about the 7:00 mark I’m usually okay. From 4:00 to 7:00 pm is my witching hour. I think it being the end of the work day, the old ‘time to relax and take a load off’, as well as the preparing dinner piece. I actually really like cooking and preparing dinner but always kind of romanticize the ‘sipping on a glass of wine’ while preparing dinner piece. Like I’m a normal, sophisticated and cosmopolitan woman just delicately sipping some wine while I sauté vegetables. I wish that in the movies they would show the reality of that woman a bottle in two hours later and snoring on the couch with purple teeth. Haha!
Anyhoo, I guess the good news is I’m feeling a bit more motivated than I was at the beginning of the week. I realized also that I need to go back to some of my supports that I used last time which were to do lots of reading about other people’s journeys. Luckily I still have a great big stack of books to re-read and remind myself of the benefits of being sober. Today I will start again with Annie Grace’s ‘This Naked Mind’ which was the first “sober” book I ever read and found very motivating. Have a great day everyone! xx