The Biggest Lesson

Thursday January 5, 2023

To add to my Lessons Learned post from a couple of days ago about the lessons I’ve learned in a year of being sober, probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that drinking doesn’t solve problems. Previously when I was feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or down about something, I would just drink. The alcohol anesthetized any feelings I had and helped me to zone out and not think about anything at all. The problem with that approach is that when you wake up the next day, the problem has multiplied like little Gremlins overnight. The original issue has not been resolved and now on top of that is a hangover, increased anxiety, and exhaustion due to terrible sleep. As a sober person the same feelings of stress and overwhelm still occur but when you don’t douse it all with alcohol, it’s much more manageable in the morning.

During the past year when I would have those intense feelings of stress or overwhelm (which occurred much less often than when I was drinking), I would find alternative ways to deal. For some reason watching a mindless, trashy reality TV show like the Kardashians or Love is Blind would often do the trick. The mindlessness of it helped me to relax my mind and compartmentalize my worries. Since I’d avoided alcohol, I then had a good night’s sleep and woke up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the issue. Usually it was more easily and quickly resolved after a restful, alcohol-free eight hours of sleep. I would feel ahead of the game instead of behind the 8 ball. When drinking I would wake up feeling groggy, irritable, and that the problem had intensified.

Most importantly, all of this has taught me that it’s okay to have feelings and I don’t have to drown them out with alcohol. There are many healthier ways to deal with feelings and stress and these approaches actually help to minimize instead of exacerbate the stress.